Here goes a header note, as always: this page will glorify death. This page will be a "continuation" or "expansion" to [thoughts on purpose], as well as [thoughts about things].

I feel like expressing myself again. I feel it to be necessary, as I have (or feels like I have) gained a better understanding of my thoughts of past and present: a better way of explaining myself.

The Goal, Idea // "Too many of these often leads to the same end."

At a certain date, with a specific age milestone, I will be ending thought. This age will be the age of 21, of which, as I have heard, is around when One's brain develops fully.

"Why is this?" you may ask. I am young. Considerably so. This is to "test" the validity of my current thoughts, as I am sure they will change at points. As an example of this, I have considered adding four years to the Age, as to "make sure I understand what I want." The thought is valid, yet it annoys me: it makes me question if I am requesting more time because I fear death.
I reassure myself that it is not it: "it is a silly thought," I say. Yet, in the end, it does have validity: how is one sure of being sure?

The Beauty of Nothing // "Close your eyes and focus on what you see."

I have grown to desire death year by year, seen how our reason to be is practically inexistant. One may say it is because One builds it oneself, yet I disagree. You have yet no purpose: no reason. Complete what you seek, but what then? Switch to another wagon until that is complete as well? You will eventually reach death, that is given — so why?
One may say to leave a mark, yet, what guarantees you that I will exist after your death? That you will in fact leave a mark? That it will even keep your label?
The other may say to be at peace when it occurs: this, too, is silly. What grants you that you will remember this realm? That you will keep your thoughts? Your feelings?

Death is the end, so why wait for it? Why waste time that won't even matter? Why live with such an agonizing curse? Why not embrace nothingness?
Thought is a curse. It is the reason of my doubt, my unsureness, and my entire way of being. Why should I worry when the end that I will get is so precious? Why worry? Why doubt? Why feel?
Mindlessness is bliss. It is the end of thought. The end of the curse. It is nothing. Pure black, as our mind usually percieves it. Nothing to feel. Nothing to hear. Nothing to see. Is it not great?